it feels like and then some

I was surprised to realize that being 19 is no different than being 18. Only people expect more of you. It's depressing.

I hate getting older.

I think that I will look back and laugh at myself...yes that's very likely.

I always do. but right now it's unavoidably depressing and shocking. Also I found out that I am firstly Visual, then Musical, and then Kinesthetic.

All this I knew, but now it's in writing. It's that impressive?

I am very impressed.

And I'm still 19.

Still way too old to be me.

Maybe I'll grow into it...

dang child

i don't know that i've ever had such an odd day. i don't even want to discuss it...
and the sprinklers soaked me coming back from work at like 11:15. co-worker was late...and i wanted to tell her a betrayal that i'd just discovered. (of course it was me, i'm a dang child to have believed him)
go bury your head in the sand you evil monster. do you tell them all that they're 'just like a sister', except when you're actually with them??
moron. I hate you. grow a life, cuz you're obviously too lame to borrow mine anymore.
ouch. my nose still hurts from my piercing yesterday...but the stress was much greater afterwards...because then i started thinking about what mum would say/do. *sigh*
it's the end of the world as we know it...
i am jak's sense of rejected lifestyle.

how silly

Hell I always want what I can't have. And end up hating the ones who show me what I can't have. I just wish I was older and cooler...or maybe, just once to want someone I can actually have... Life sucks.
Everyone I don't want, wants me...maybe I try too hard. Maybe i'm not pretty enough, impressive enough...argg why does it have to be me that's not good enough for him???
Stupid stupid irrational emotions. Go away. I mean it this time. I'll be sick of his sexy boots in three days.
Maybe...

shone and gone

dreamer dreamer come away,

press your luck some other day.

darling dreamer day is gone,

the sun already shone...

and gone...goodnight

be happy love.

don't it feel like sunshine after all?

the world we love forever, gone.

we're only just as happy...

as everyone else seems to think we are.

(creds to jimmy eat world, futures, the world we love)

extremist

the end justifies the means.
wow aaron is awesome.
so freaken talented.

adulterated wastes

is my water too deep for you?
am i diving too far down?
does the darkness scare you?
sunshine is your crown.
i don't want to swim away.
why won't you follow after?
it's nothing you can't say
shrink away like i'm a traitor.

i don't want to
confuse you...
abuse you...
misuse you...
refuse you...
amuse you...
but i can't stay in the shallows.
drifting like too many zeroes.