hello

god?

are you up there? somewhere in this beautiful gray sky?
do you care about a stupid insecure kid like me? or do you what me to rot in hell?
is it gonna start raining soon?
what's gonna happen to me?
will everyone else turn on me like J and B...and forgive me...
my mum and dad? why them?
we clash so much of the time...
maybe you could transplant me to a different family? even for just a
bit?
idk how much longer i can do this...

-your child (of hope), Emerandom

little humans

i don't care if i don't make a good impression on your sister or your other sister, or your mom. i don't care that she's my grandma and might not send me a nice bday present. just because i like to color my hair and i don't necessarily fit in with all your ideas of what a dutiful child should be...it doesn't mean you can discount my humanhood.
and your stupid little ideas about how i should always be the complete respectful daughter...sickening. i am so angry...i'm not your slave.
and if you are deserving of respect then i am too
but i am sorry for what i did...and i will try not to do it again...

leaving you

you know? i wouldnt mind so much if you did kick me out.
it's okay. it doesn't mean you hate me, it just basically means
you can't live with me.
:)
and i'm okay with that. it doesnt hurt my feelings, i know that
we don't get along too well...
...

so just throw me off this cliff, i feel like i've been bumping along
this stupid road for much too long...and now suddenly the road
ended and i'm falling off this cliff and it's okay.
it's just rather sudden, that's all...

just grow up darling

i hate you, standing all alone on the asphalt
the way you make me feel like it's all my fault
the way i feel uncomfortable around you
i wanna know those things that you knew

i think you've grown just a little too old
from the way you make my blood run cold
and the way you make me smile,
all this time, was it my thoughtless denial?

growing up just a bit, i'm a big kid too
i guess i thought i was stronger then you
just one light in the dark,like a shining star
but maybe you play me like an electric guitar

you love blood, right? well i do too,
but not the way you think i do
you call me a fake and i won't turn away
i know what i am and it's not what you say

vacation

we are going on vacation today. i feel depressed.
we are going to visit our aunt who i haven't seen
in ten years...
i didn't like her in the first place...she is like my
dad...kinda. a girl version tho.
she has one daughter who will be off in florida...
i think this will be really boring.
vacation sucks.
i wanna just stay home and sit around. :{
awful i know, you're suppose to want to do this
kinda stuff.

click to enlarge.

i fucking hate you people. why do i have to talk to all you idiots?you're all so lame and caught up in your own stupid problems.and in the end, those problems turn out to be not so bad after all...but for now, you need someone to whine to, some one's shoulder to cry on...why can you just grow up a bit? you really aren't a kid anymore
sometimes i think if you really did bump yourself off, then I wouldn't be that sad...i would just say something typical and move on. it wouldn't hurt me. it honestly won't hurt, i promise. so go ahead, you don't actually have the guts to do it. maybe it could be one thing you actually follow through on...one thing to make up for all the rest of your lame and stupid life.
i wish i'd never met you. you're like a deadly draining poison on my soul taking my time, my emotions, my energy. making me feel like i'm obliged to help you. making me feel guilty when i just wish i never had to see your face again. i hate you all the more for any sort of feelings i've ever had towards you.