why me again?

so today is an odd day, again. it feels like something out of a dream.
i feel like everyone i know doesn't know me. they think i'm one person
but sometimes i wish i could just be someone else.
i don't know who i am. i don't know what i am. i don't wanna become
like any of them. i don't even know what i wanna become like.
i for sure don't wanna become like most of my friends, some of them are
so annoying/lame. and i know they love me, which is important, but then...
i don't know.
and i have really cool friends...but i don't hang out with them enough to
be like them!
(or maybe i just think they are cool because i don't know them well
enough to realize that everyone is the same)
...this is confusing, maybe i should just drop the whole idea of trying to
hang out with cool people and just hang out with people who like me anyways..

so there's this one person tho, who want to be my friend, but...i don't really wanna
be her friend. is that totally mean?
she is such a...clingy, innocent, naive, and two-faced at the same time! :o it's
a hard question to answer and i don't wanna just be mean, because i've had
people do that to me. i knew they didn't wanna be friends with me because of
how i looked or what i did, or anything like that... it's so superficial

=_=